Posted by: amandaashby | April 30, 2009

the invisible clique

So this week we’re talking about cliques and, as Kiki summed up in her post, I think the reason most people want to be in a clique is to give them a sense of belonging. And to take this one step further, I think that most people want to belong because deep down we all feel like we don’t.

Or is that just me?

The thing is, despite being part of a popular group at school, I  still felt like a complete outsider.  I also felt quite invisible and I remember once being in a completely bizarre conversation where I would say something and no one would respond, and then my best friend would repeat it and suddenly everyone would laugh.  

And I’m being serious here. My words were repeated verbatim and everyone laughed like it was the first time they’d heard them.

This was about the time I pinched my arm to check if I still existed.

Of course now I find it quite amusing,  but at the time I remember feeling quite traumatised by it. So has this ever happened to anyone else where you have literally felt invisible when you were part of a group?


  1. There are times when this has happened to me and I’ve learned to walk away from the group that does it. Although nowadays it’s my kids pretending I don’t exist so can’t really walk far before they get upset and try to follow me.

  2. No wonder you were traumatised, Amanda! What brought it on, do you think?

    There have been a few times where I felt like I’m wearing the cloak of invisibility. The group of girls I hung out with through most of high school were gorgeous and boys swarmed around them, but I seemed to be invisible. (Cue sad violin music). I’m okay about that now – really.

  3. I just keep thinking of Summer Heights High by Chris Lilley, that show mocks high school but he does the year 11 girl sooo well. Oh how many of those types have I known?

  4. Nat – omg – watching Summer Heights High is like going back to High School and yes, he absolutely nails not just the girl but the whole private/public school thing that went on. Of course the difference is that the tv show is funny!!!!

    Vanessa – no idea why it happened and it wasn’t even like they were horrible girls – they were all actually good friends, which made it feel all the more surreal! Still, everything that doesn’t kill us makes us stronger (not really, but it does give us more stuff to write about!!!)

  5. Wow, wouldn’t that be a great setup for a story if the book’s heroine, a popular,w ell-adjusted girl, suddenly became actually invisible?

  6. I felt invisible quite a lot at school, though I can’t remember people picking up what I said and repeating it.That must’ve been horrible. I think that’s why I broke out at the theatre group – I had a (hehe) captive audience there.

    Kiki, I think actually becoming invisible would be a huge advantage. I think the crux of the story would be if the heroine didn’t realise she was invisible i.e. she could still see her reflection so thought she was being ignored.

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