Posted by: Diane Curran | April 25, 2010

Breaking up is hard to do…

I’ve been absent from this blog for quite a few weeks as I confront the changes happening in my life. My partner and I in the midst of a  break-up. 13 years together and now we’re going our separate ways –  possibly separate states/separate ways. I will be moving. Back into town…smaller place…my own space…close to work and close to my friends. And no long winter drives down a cold, foggy backroad to a freezing cold house.  I’m decluttering…both emotionally and physically. Which leaves little time for writing. I’m very positive about the future though I have been grieving for what could have been for the relationship.

Anyway enough about the present…I will survive.

Let’s talk about break-ups when you were a teenager.  When it was the end of the world. When you were absolutely sure that you could never love someone again. (even if you weren’t actually in love, but just mildly infatuated).

In my first relationship as a teen, I was the one to make the break. I was 14 and I was already bored. He was so predictable. He would ring me every afternoon after school and as soon as I answered, he would have to turn down the TV.  Why he didn’t turn the TV down first I didn’t know…but now I’ve realised it’s a male brain thing. We met on a Christmas family holiday and we’d meet in town on the weekends to go to the movies.  He was a sweet guy but I needed something different, and so I turned into a teenage cow who didn’t know how to tell him it was over…avoiding the calls, until I finally had to say something. And I can’t even remember my exact words. But it ended.

At 15, I was going out with a ‘theatrical’ guy who would dye his hair a different colour every week. Little time to get bored there. But after a couple of months he ended it with “It’s not you, it’s me.”  Heard that one before?

Then it was unrequited love and huge crushes for a couple of years until 19 when I went out with the one who really broke my heart. “I don’t think we should see each other anymore,” he said. Problem is, we worked together. Yeah, I cried for 48 hours straight after that breakup. Then I dried my tears, and went to work and faced him again. And then I built walls around my heart, and didn’t tear them down for a long time.

I had a couple of mix tapes. One was really sad breakup songs…played when I wanted to be sad, get emotional and wallow. And then there was the tape filled with Eurythmics, Pat Benatar and tough women rockers who basically sang about how I was better off without him anyway.

Sample Playlist  (off the top of my head)

Thorn in My Side  – Eurythmics

Hit me With Your Best Shot –  Pat Benatar

So Long  –  Abba

Last Time –   Eurythmics

Goodbye Astrid –   Cold Chisel

Don’t Wanna Be Your Friend – Cyndi Lauper

How much did you get for your Soul? – The Pretenders

I’d always feel good again after playing those kind of songs and I’d be ready for the next chapter.

Now I’m listening to Chris Wilson – “You will surely Love Again”  and I know that it’s true.

So tell me about your teen breakups or your mix tapes.

PS: I’m not the only one who’s been absent from this blog…Miss Steph Bowe has been very busy on her own blog and if you want to see the cover of her debut novel to be released in September, go to Hey! Teenager of the Year.

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Responses

  1. Oh, Diane, I’m so sorry to hear about the break-up. HUGE hugs!

    Would you believe I didn’t really date in high school? There was one guy in Grade 8 and I think I actually gave him the old “it’s not you, it’s me” line. Eeep! That probably cursed me until the end of Grade 12!

    ‘Hit Me with Your Best Shot’ is a *great* song to help you get all that anger out! Along with ‘Love is a Battlefield’, of course.

  2. Just wanted to say sorry to hear about your break up. Hugs x

    Oh who can forget the big crushes of high school – the popular guy who wouldn’t know I existed, the just-friends guy, the guy from an older grade. Goodness, a lifetime ago.

    No sad mix tapes – I tended to have rock or pop mixes.

  3. They never get easier, do they? It’s for the best, though, always.
    I am in the midst of high school, and I have yet to make a mixtape. Maybe I will, next time.

  4. When you’re a strong and brave woman like you are Diane there’s always a fabulous new chapter waiting.Hugs AND chocolate for this bit though. The transition is the miserable part.
    No-one has mentioned the fabulous Gloria Gaynor? “I Will Survive?” one of my faves. I tend to be more of a movie watcher for my wallowing stage than music though. Stuff like any Audrey Hepburn movies,”An Affair To Remember”- real cry it out chick flicks. With ice cream sundaes….of course.


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